Wednesday, June 18, 2025

2013-06-23 Edges and Courage

 

How does one weigh emotion?  I do not know.  When you have a person threaten your ability to see your daughter in front of her.  Causing her pain and tears.  You know that if you react all you will do is fuel the fire of your attacker and cause the one you hold dearest more pain.  So what do you do?  Do you remind the person that the actions are painful to the child?  I did.  I was also reminded that the person is in Legal control and hinting at using that to reduce my time with her.  When called a liar about how you feel and what you believe to be true in front of her with the person telling her that "I have been holding this in..."  To be told in so many words that my time and efforts are for nothing in front of her.  The person saying that some of the information came from her.  The she says it did not.  The person then says to me as if she was not there that "her story has changed..."  The child clinging to the person crying begging her to stop.  The person not understanding that the child is begging the aggressor to stop attacking the other one she loves.  If I attack back will it make matters worse?  I believe so.  I mention that this was exactly what the courts educational program said not to do.  The person agreed with feral tenacity.  Does seeing this cause me to believe that any further actions will be fruitless?  Yes it does.  All this vehemence because I stated I did not like or respond well to being ordered  to appear.  Perhaps the pervious weekends incident coaled the fire. 

               I wonder if obeying the previous rules then having the person's other come to my car placing it hands in my window, in my face, trying to act the good sportsman who just won a game if there were no hard feelings.  This after my express request and the person's agreement to the rules to prevent conflict.  The other still does this.  So I am polite and honest.  I  am calm and clear in my rejection of this offer and express my feelings toward the other.  No cursing, derogatory or threats of action were used.  Just clear basic common words and a request that the other back away from me.  I have never seen this as a game where "no hard feelings" could be used.  So the others tactless, careless and unthinking action is the impetus, I think so.  Should I have accepted this offer?  No, I do not think so.  I have always held dear the rule of not associating with people who demonstrated lack of character, honor and integrity in my eyes.  In my eyes the person and the other will never be trustworthy or persons whom with I would spend my time again.  Hence the creation of the rules, lack of conflict through lack of contact.  It seemed a prudent course at the time.

               Now I am here.  wondering what to do next.  So, at a loss I asked her what she wanted.  How would she want me to proceed?  She wants an apology from both parties in front of her.  So she can believe and have faith in the person and myself.  I agreed because that trust is more important than  my pride.  I'll be damned if I know how this will turn out.  How much do I sacrifice to demonstrate the greater path?  I guess I know the answer.  I also figure those who truly know me also know my answer,  I will sacrifice everything for her even if I must bleed out all I am and have.  All I can pray for is that one day she will see the person for whom they are and still love them.  That she will see the other in the same light.  That she will then understand me for who I am.  In this, she will learn who she is and what it will take to be herself.

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