I was thinking today about what memories I have that seem to pop up regularly. I will admit that most of my early memories are not happy ones. I seem to remember the things that hurt much more easily than those that did not. I guess that speaks to my state of mind more than I like.

There are a few people that almost always come to mind in a happy loving way. First is my daughter Elisabeth, even when she's mad at me she still makes me smile. The second is my brother John. He is always there and always supportive. My mother, Rebecca of whom I have no bad memories of. Just shame in how I treated her. Grandmother Elizabeth L. Smiley who always tried to teach me something. As a teenager I had no concept of how good she was to me. As a parent I now see and shake my head at how selfish I was.

As an adult I try and focus on the positive things in my life. I look for the good in all things. I understand that which I see is filtered and colored by my life experiences. It is important to remove those glasses of Life and look on things from outside your point of view. In my arrogance I think that makes me different from most. I guess I still have a lot to learn.

Whether you are religious, spiritual or just a human; there are times you must remember the good that has befallen you.  This is called many things.  The two I remember most are “Counting your blessings” and “Being thankful”.  In the United States of America (Yes, I like the full name of our nation.  Shortening it seems to devalue its meaning.) we have a national holiday called Thanksgiving.  It is good that we gather together at least once per year for this purpose.  Today though I propose that we do so many more times each year informally.  At times when you see, hear, taste, touch or feel something that makes you smile perhaps you should just stop and be thankful for that unique moment in time.  Perhaps, you could reflect on all the other moments that touched you in similar ways.  In that moment of reflection be thankful you were there at that singular moment of time to experience it.  That time will never occur that exact way again.  It was and is unique to every moment of time before or yet to be.  It is a rare thing to be present during those moments, cherish them.

Soap Box Moment (SBM): 
In as much as I dislike Moore, Clinton, Bloomberg, Obama and that type of extreme liberal view point and their opposites in the extreme Right; I must respect their Right to express their views. For if we silence one then who is to say we are not the next to be silenced? Our Constitution secures these Rights and I once swore to defend that document against all enemies foreign and domestic. While I hate much of what they say, I will defend their Right to say it. For in the end, it is not them I am defending but my own Rights as well. 

Perhaps one day (I'm not too hopeful on this one.) they will understand that in between the extremes is where most of us live. It is in that in between place where we need to strengthen ourselves as a Nation. Our core will need to be tolerant and respectful. It will need to be mindful of the forest and not the tree. It will need to be willing to understand the Constitution protects the single Citizen against the People as it does the People against the Government. That core must be stronger than the extremes lest we tumble over and fall as a People and a Nation. This my friends is my greatest fear. 

I fear that we are falling to apathy of the "It's not my problem" and the "It doesn't affect me." crowd that seems to grow daily accepting the mediocre and average as acceptable norms. We seem to have lost the Will to be the best as a Nation. We have lost the vision of a future where We The People means every Citizen of our Nation. Our government has lost its mandate to watch over our future in favor of what is popular or gets them re-elected. We have lost our way and I have no good solution for finding it again. This is my fear for my child's and all our children's futures. I am attacking our drug like dependence on fossil fuels. I am gambling everything because if my child's future is in jeopardy then mine is meaningless. 

So I ask you, what are you doing to secure those futures?

Tangled Dreams Seeking Peace

Tis time to sleep and travel a dream,

In Dreams fine time distance does not have its means,

Twas a dream that caused and holds sway,

It is the dream that is the key that unlocks what it held at bay,

In Shakespeare’s name “What dreams may come?”,

What travels this day is known to some.

In dreams half-light covered darkness flight.

Our minds message telling us of our plight.

Do we listen?  Do we pay heed?

No, we continue with our mindless greed.

Is it greed to want a life of peace?

Nay, perhaps not for we seek solace in sleep.

So find your peace and forget William’s play!

In the end of the day, in the end of night “…we sleep no more.” Some say.

Some say.

I'm Not Dead... I'm Breathing... :)

While I would like to say I exercise regularly to relax I cannot.  I can state that I am aware that regular exercise does release stress, and that meditation breathing is effective for this purpose.  A long ago in a body that was not marred by thirty years of abuse; I exercised daily.    The program that was followed combined weight lifting, martial arts (Judo, Tae Kwan Do, Jeet Kune Do), gymnastics and competitive shooting.  What I learned from each one that breathing was an essential key to being successful in each discipline.

            Weight lifting can have three main purposes and each requires proper breathing.  The type of breathing technique used varies depending on that type.  Example, for power lifting the exhale is the most important.  You combine the energy of the release with the explosive surge of the lift to create maximum force.  When cardio lifting, breathing is more shallow and even to reduce variations in heart rate.  Lastly, when using lifting for equalizing muscle strength, such as building your biceps as much as the triceps, a deep measured exhale is used with each movement with a slight pause at the end of the movement used for inhaling.

            Martial arts use the exact same techniques for different movements and effects.  Striking an opponent is the exact same as power lifting.  You use an extreme exhale in conjunction with the strike to focus that energy (also known as Chi) at the exact time of the strike forcing all that energy into your opponent.  When grappling with an opponent you must keep your breathing constant so you don't tire yourself out between moves.  This also helps to prevent tunnel vision by keeping your mind from fully embracing the adrenaline that is attempting to take over your senses.  When meditating an adapted version of the measured breathing in weight lifting is used.  Instead of the quick intake the entire breathing cycle is measured causing the body to fully relax. 

            The same technique is used in competitive shooting at long distances.  If your heart is beating too hard or fast your entire musculature moves with it.  Every expansion of the veins and arteries moves the muscles holding you steady.  The causes your face to rise and fall on the cheek piece, your finger to tremble on the trigger, your body to vibrate moving your sight position on the target, and cause your chest to rise and fall lifting your body from a solid resting place to that of being placed on a balloon.  Breathing evens out and minimizes these movements allowing a clean sight view, smooth trigger pull and a shake free follow through.  The "sweet" spot is just at the end of the exhale just before the inhale.  This is where your body is the stillest making your shot the most accurate.  If you are in tune that small split second seems like an eternity and you are in a state of mental awareness surrounded by physical stillness, just like the meditation used in martial arts.

            It is there in that state of awareness surrounded by physical stillness that full peace and relaxation finds me.  My physical condition determined what I was able to do in that space.  Then I could lower my heart rate to less than 40 beats per minute and change my body temperature.  Now I use the technique to remain calm in stress filled situations.  I sit at times focusing on those moments and concentrate on what sounds are around me increasing my awareness.  It is amazing what you can hear in a Park or café if you just breathe and listen.  Breathing still insulates what I feel, see and hear and allow me to feel centered and calm.  So if you see me just sitting somewhere not moving I'm not asleep or dead, I am breathing.

Waxing a Car

           It does not matter if you are an amateur cleaning up your car for a summer drive or a professional preparing a car for show the basics of waxing a car are the same.  The very first thins is the car must be clean of dirt and stains on its surface.  Any particle or particulate will scratch the paint during waxing if not removed.  Blemishes and stains will be sealed under the wax as well if not removed beforehand.  Both of these items will mar your end result.

            The choice of waxes is monumental.  The varieties in cost, wax base, physical media (liquid, solid) and dispersal method (spray, pour, wipe) are more about personal desire and level of effort (LoE) you wish to expend.   If you don't like lots of effort don't choose a paste or solid wax unless you are using an orbital applicator/buffer.  Sprays are nice and easy to apply but don't provide the shine level of the paste or solid wax types.  A happy medium can be liquid waxes; these offer the ease of application of the sprays but not the best possible result of the solids.  Sometimes it is helpful to ask others what they use and the result the received. 

            Following the directions is important.  Over applying a spray or liquid can cause extreme difficulties in removing excess wax than a proper application of a solid or paste.  In addition, letting any of the waxes dry too much results in hours of arm tiring, back wrenching, and sweating that would have been unnecessary if the directions had been followed.  Most directions indicate a cool and dry place out of the sun to apply and remove the wax.  Remember, the sun super heats the surface of your paint acting like an oven cutting dry times as little as seconds for some spray waxes and less than a minute for even solid waxes.  If you cannot find a shady area or the temperatures are hot, only work on a square foot or less at a time.  You will also be sweating a lot, so drink plenty of water.  Directions also state to use clean dry applicators, removers and buffing materials.  An old wax rag that has not been washed and inspected can hold dried grits of material in the fabric that act like sandpaper.  There is nothing I am aware of that is more frustrating than to look down at a bunch of swirls and scratches knowing you just caused them; because, you did not follow the instructions.

            Now that you have your wax, clean and proper application/buffing/polishing materials, a cool shaded location, and a bottle of water for yourself, it is time to get to work.  Waxing performed properly is not hard.  Do not confuse getting the car ready to wax with waxing.  I have spent as more than two days time preparing a car for a show.  The least time taken is about four hours on a brand spanking new car that was run through a touch-less car wash just to prep it for waxing.  You need to make sure every trim piece, body molding, seam, and crease are clean and dry; this includes the door entry areas, fuel filler cap/cover door, hood overlap areas and trunk lid channels as well.  Water or debris in these areas almost always will find a way to mar your waxing by watering down your wax (most are water soluble), or scratching your paint.  It is my personal recommendation to only work on no more than one half a panel or section at a time.  This keeps your quality and attention to the details of that section maximized.  Just like with washing the car start on the highest place, aka the roof.  Wear clothing that if it touches the paint will not damage or mar the surface.  If you have a belt buckle, any buttons, zippers and catches on your clothes will scratch the paint, so place tape over them.  Better yet, don't wear clothing that is not held on with either elastic or draw string.  Another consideration is your own sweat falling into your work; make sure you dry yourself off regularly with a dedicated sweat towel to prevent undoing your own work.  If you work methodically taking a small break after each completed panel the job will not take long and you can see your own reflection in the surface.  Once you have completed the entire car get a ruler and hold it lengthwise just off the surface.  You should be able to read the entire ruler in the reflection.  If you can see the entire ruler; then this is called a "foot deep" shine. 

            In the end it is about your personal expectation, and your personal LoE you wish to expend.  By following the instructions, using good materials, and setting a reasonable expectation with yourself, waxing your car can be a great way to spend an afternoon.

Bring Your Car and Dance!

         For me the experience of racing a lap on the Shenandoah circuit at Summit Point Raceway is exhilarating like what I imagine being a professional dancer would be.  The memories of previous laps fill your mind as you prepare yourself and your vehicle for the next event.  The sounds of the engines acceleration and deceleration fill your mind as if they were the music happening live again.  You listen for smoothness of those sounds.  Was there a pop, misfire or change in pitch that did not harmonize with the raucous detonations of acceleration or cackles of deceleration?  As you enter and exit the turns did the chassis creak and groan warning you of failure, or a lack of finesse in your actions?  The tires will sing to you in squeals and screeches as they are pressed beyond the ability to keep traction.  Brute force yields groans, howls, and cracks of your vehicle; whereas, smoothness, gentle pushes, and  prior preparation provide anticipated movements that flow into one another forming crescendo's and silences from one movement to another.  You listen to this complex melody like a conductor of an orchestra listens to each instrument section for its place and time in the symphony. 

            When a professional driver/dancer prepares for competition they test the fit of their clothing to make sure nothing interferes with the movement or feeling of the dance.  The driver/dancer feels his/her suit for comfort and flexibility; does it bind or restrict movement; are there any places that poke or press uncomfortably?  The driver/dancer's partner is inspected to make sure the tires have the correct air pressures and tread depths.  Does the clothing/bodywork fit closely and tightly without impeding flexibility?  When they are in "hold", is the placement of the throttle, brake and clutch pedals natural and free flowing?  Do the driver/dancer's hands fall naturally to the steering wheel and gear shifter?  When the partner holds the driver/dancer, is the "hold" firm; not yielding, but not so tight it constricts the dance?  Lastly, when the driver/dancer looks his/her partner in the eyes/gauges is the vision clear and ready to dance?  Now the driver/dancer asks his/her partner if they are ready to dance by igniting the engine and listening to the music.  If the answer is "yes" then the vibrations through the seat and steering wheel will be in sync; the exhaust instrument will come into tune as your partner's gauges warm up, and as you take your warm-up steps the sway and rock of the chassis closely follow your lead.

            Now, it is time to dance/race!  You look around and see your competition in their suits and vehicles; some brightly colored like peacocks attracting a mate; some plain in simple primary colors like panthers and coral snakes; all of them preparing to hunt.  Start!  You take your first steps trying not to collide with the other dancers on the floor/track; shifting, guiding and maneuvering into position before the first turn in the dance/race.  Your partner pulls you into the dance/race pushing you into your seat, and filling your ears with the music its song.  Your body reacts pushing adrenaline into your mind narrowing your thoughts and sights; this is dangerous.  You must fight the feeling, or you can die from not seeing an oncoming car, hearing the sounds of steel impacting steel, or thinking quickly enough to prepare for the turn ahead and anticipate where the driver/dancer next to you will do next.  As you enter the first turn you have already moved beyond it.  Your partner/vehicle has followed your lead holding you in its hands the body stiffens with anticipation then rolls into the movement.  Like a sailing ship changing tack there is a moment of weightlessness at the apex of the roll like stopping time for just a moment.  Then the roll returns stiffening into anticipation of the next move.  The ending of each movement is at the edge of control with the tires singing full pitch feeling each vibration in the seat of your pants and finger tips on the wheel.  You are pushed and held against the side of your seat.  The pressures akin to the launching of an Atlas rocket into space.  If you have executed well then it will end just as the next movement begins smoothly with no sudden changes.  If not, then you are out of space colliding with the other dancers creating the shriek of tires, breaking of glass, crunching of metal and the sudden use of your body as a crash test dummy.  Emerging from each movement is elation, excitement and ecstasy of accomplishment, but one you must calm for this is only one movement of a twenty minute dance.  The smoother your dance the faster you go around the floor until your mind is racing to process the approaches, turns, exits, passes and conditions.  Time begins to slow in how you think, like being fully aware you are approaching a decision but being unable to make your body react in time.  You have just reached beyond your limits; to stay here is to risk death; only fools and dead men travel beyond.  So you balance on the edge causing your heart to race, body to sweat, and your mind to work faster than IBM's Big Blue in a Zen like state.  You are one with your partner flowing through the dance transitioning between weightless apexes into violent pushes accompanied by music that is as much the dance as the sound created by it.

            When it is over you have no regrets.  Any missteps you learned from for your next practice.  Your body is tired; your mind worn out but none of that matters because you are at peace with the reward of the dance.  Some others will rant, or be upset, or lay blame for their performance.  To those I say you did not give everything you had, if you did then you would not have the energy for such antics.  Your partner should not be injured, but be a reflection of you; they should be worn and hot from exertion, but not broken.  Together working as one you dance again finding those moments of perfection in the movements of the race.