2001-04-23 The creation of Societies One Person’s Thoughts

 

If man creates Gods and religions, and each one vies for members and power, how can the men that are supposed to represent these supposed to keep their faith?  The business like actions of religions to adopt holidays and reasons for holidays from other religions cannot represent a faith.  The faith should provide the holidays.  It should provide the meanings.  It should not adapt it’s self to another if it is the true path. 

            The true path should have a discernible source.  It should be traceable.  It should be believable without trying to market it.  Faith is not a marketable item.  It is an item that is felt from within.

            From what I see, man has a need to have a God or Gods.  The reasons I feel are very basic.  People (groups) need something to make them feel that it all has a reason.  By it all, I mean what happens to a person during their life.  It would be like a security blanket.  It certainly feels like a very cold place if it all is for nothing, if it all is happenstance. 

            Perhaps the “faith” needs to be in what a person can do to leave a memory or effect a change that will transcend them after they have died, to leave something behind that satisfies a need of humans to be remembered.

            Religions do play a large role in getting people to get along.  They have some very sound advise about behavior and conduct.  Perhaps the learned men of the past knew that people as groups, do not or will not believe an idea that causes them to put aside their own needs to help another.  Nobles of the past were to provide food and shelter for their serfs.  Most of these noble families were started by wealthy or powerful people that claimed some rite to the lands.  They got this by force or money or both.  The religions (I believe) sought to gain favor by showing the nobles methods to get the serfs to work more productively.  Thus increasing the noble’s status by increasing wealth.  Since most people believe that the accumulation of items is the measure of status, this worked out well.

            In Egypt, the Pharaoh’s used the same forces to accomplish this.  Then secured it through the enacting of “Birth Rite”.  This enabled them to keep what they had achieved in their family.  The Greeks, Romans, Celts, Turks and all others that I have heard of, used that same tactics. 

            The difference came in what group they used to assist them to keep their power.  A combination of armies controlled by the government and the giving of power and favor to a religion (or in some cases, several religions) that gave them tools to wield.  By telling the populace that their rule is blessed by something larger than their abilities to obtain power, they bought time.  The next step was to get the army to restore or create order and make themselves the focus for decisions.  Then the religions sent their representatives to the people spreading the ideas that the ruling body was just because of a higher power than man was giving them rules that enabled them to live peaceably.  To use this set of conditions, the populace would gain security and a place in humanities history for remembrance.  That to not work within these conditions would mean that you did not fit in with humanity.  You did not deserve the protection of the government and populace.  You are on your own, alone.

            The change from plural to singular in these areas is the key in my opinion.  We get back to the pack mentality of the basic animals we derived from.  Man has never wanted to admit that were an evolved species, that we were what we are studying now.  Humans have their pride.  Humans have their needs.  Humans do not like to be alone.  Humans like to be favored.  Humans like to deflect communal focus in areas where they may be questionable in their conformity.  So they find others that either do not conform or are slightly different.  They focus other humans to this difference.  Since conformity is the social normal, non-conformity is anti-social.  Thus, the now anti-social or non-conformist element becomes the focus.  If the ruling body, religion, or army needs to pull the majority together, now they have their catalyst.  Hence, humans feed the need once again and perpetuate the circle.

            The main point of all this is, think about what drives you.  Why are you doing what you are doing?  Why would another person want your support?  If you think about the basic needs of every person, you will find the answer you seek.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                Scott N. Smiley

                                                                                                April 23, 2001

2008-12-14 A Foundation of Faith

 

It was in shadows dusky light that reflected through the mists showing me what I needed to see, the beginning. It was in that moment of flaring incandescence that the truth came to me. I knew every thing was connected and we are not alone. The enormity of my ignorance floored me. The humility crushed me. It was then that my faith was formed.  Like in times past when watching the snow swept up against the cliff face and out again to the valley below like some cosmic hand churning the air that I knew I knew nothing. The forces so far beyond my grasp that saying I felt small does not even come close. I.. We are microscopic to such forces. Yet, we forget our fragility in our every day lives. We build mountains of our importance and accomplishments. Yet oh how those mountains crumble and fall at just a shrug from nature. Just how mighty are we....  I missed the point many times before. Not this time, this time I listened. Colors so beautiful that I know my eyes only saw the palest of them. It was a feeling so deep that my very inner core was pulled down and out all at the same time. It was heart wrenching and glorious all a once. Who was I by comparison; in a word, nothing. I know that is why I believe. That power/energy/force/life connected me in just a brief glimpse. A glimpse that calmed me, centered me and offered to heal me if I would just be willing to heal myself. Question is am I able or willing to do so? Thus lay the fault. Not in what was around me, but within myself.  Isn't that one heck of a thing, finding out that my own doubts are the crack. The very impasse to my salvation of soul, calmness of being and centering of life was my own mind. It rocked my very mental bedrock. It still does. One must be willing to live within ones self accepting that self without reservation to be open to what is offered from without. It is for me faith of that offering that gives me the courage to make the leap of self acceptance. Who knew the seemingly short jump could take so long. I jump and re-jump every day. At times I get closer and other times seem to fall back but I keep jumping. I have faith that on the day I clear that chasm within the offering will be there to catch me. I must just keep trying.  When I pondered this writing I came to realize that this is my meaning of life. Why do I keep making the simple so complicated? I do not know, perhaps because I am human.

2008-25-02 Divorce Depression

 

At what point is it time to cry or even die?  I do not know.  Heaviness so suffocating that I cannot stand.  Only hunch and sway under the weight.  Now I cry.  At what point is the effort enough?  At what point is it okay to just be crushed, smothered and surrender to the load?  At what point can I die?  I do not know.  When does society say that is enough?  What is acceptable?  I do not know.  What is the message I send to my child?  Can a parent humbled and bent be a good example?  I do not know.  The thought of this being how I am remembered is unbearable. Now I cry.  I cry in shame.  I cry in frustration.  I cry in pain.  I cry in supplication.  At times I just cry.  Am I weak?  Do I just not have the courage to continue?  How much strength is enough?  What is the measure?  How much can a person bare?  I do not know.  I just cry in frustration at the questions I have no answers to.  I am afraid of the message I send to my daughter.  The rest of the world I really do not care about.  In the singular of my family not the plural I could live at the basest level.  I won’t let my daughter live that way, I cannot.  But how much is enough?  I do not know.  I only know I will cry in pain as I try.  For perhaps trying is the key to the answer.  I will cry in frustration and anger that there is no answer.  I will cry at the world that is that creates this measure.  My muscles ache.  My mind is numb.  My heart is broken.  The string of love that is my daughter is what holds me together.  Small and fine yet strong beyond measure is that string.  The explosion it prevents is greater than any bomb of man.  It is as if the fabric of the world is being contained.  It is that power I also fear.  For without restraint, what would that power do?  I do not know.  I tremble to think what it could do with no care.  With no concern for the outcome a power can do anything.  It will take any risk.  It has nothing to loose.  How much is enough?  I do not know.  For now the tears of love that bind me also hold me in check.  The explosion not released.  The power contained.  All by a single thread that is my daughter.  For her I cry.  What measure will the World ask of her?  I fear the answer.  Now I cry.again.

2015-06-13 When the Demons Come

 

When the Demons come and your Will is undone; look to me; Look to me

 

Fight the Dark and find your heart; look to me; look to me

 

With Foe’s around pulling you down, Look to me; look to me

 

Find your grit in the heart of it; look to me; look to me

 

Within you will find your wherewithal; look to me; look to me

 

Together there is nothing we can’t dissolve; look to me; look to me

 

Climb the wall; your demon wall, look to me; look to me

 

While your sight is masked at the Ball; look to me; look to me

 

A masquerade is just a dance that’s all; look to me; look to me

 

Doff your cloak and let the mask fall close; look to me; look to me

 

See my eyes now your Life’s exposed; look to me; look to me

 

Find your strength in mine, look close; look to me; look to me

 

Let my shield protect your mind and soul against the foul fold; look to me, look to me

 

Now your Demons are bare against my light’s glare; look to me; look to me

 

You are strong untold against enemies bold; look to me; look to me

 

Your Demons will run; Evil is undone!  Look to me; look to me

 

Now together we are one, invincible, honorable, and loved in eyes locked close, look to me; look to me.

 

Now looking at me and I looking at you, we will forever be; because you looked at me.

2016-06-09 Joy Fear Love Fight and Hope

 

JOY

In my heart I feel joy

Joy at the thought of your smile

Joy at your acceptance of my faults

Joy at the love you have promised

Joy at the possible future we may share

FEAR

In my mind I feel fear

Fear that this is an illusion

Fear that a bad of infinite power will come in response to this infinite love

Fear that I will not live up to your expectations

Fear I may fail losing all I have

LOVE

Yet there is love

Love of family

Love of my daughter

Love of you

Love of God

FIGHT

So I will fight

Fight to succeed

Fight to defend

Fight for my daughter

Fight for your love

HOPE

For you are my hope

My salvation

My life

My love

2013-03-31 Faith

 

Faith, the belief in a power, force, deity, person or action that it will prevail no matter what the odds or obstacles.

 

Faith cannot be quantified.  It is not measurable unless it is a pass or fail grade.  It either "is" or "is not".  So why is it important?

 

Faith is part of the Yin and Yang of Life.  It and Hope make one side of the circle.  Doubt (also known as Disbelief) and Despair are the other half.  From these all of human emotions are derived.  Love and Hate, Joy and Sorrow, appreciation and contempt are all derived from those base pairs.

 

Faith is neither positive or negative just as its opposite, Doubt is also neutral.  The Disbelief that something will or will not occur; that others are correct or not; is neither positive or negative.  It is when those aspects are combined with either Hope or Despair when they gain energy. 

 

This is why enemies will always want you to think they will win and you will lose.  Enemies fear their opponents having Faith.  That is why enemies try to crush Hope.  Because an enemy that has Faith that they can prevail and uses Hope to sustain that Faith is almost impossible to beat.  Thus the phrase "...win the hearts and minds..." drives its true power from changing an enemies perception of what to have Faith in.  This is where Integrity comes in.

 

Are you strong enough to stand against Doubt and maintain Faith to keep your Hope alive even when all the forces around you are against you?  If you can then you have Integrity.  Your Faith gives you strength to survive the punishments brought against you by those that do not believe as you do.  The Hope that through your example others will see your Faith to be true. 

 

It is my belief that this is what the history of Jesus is about.  It is about Jesus' Integrity to hold his Faith even when he drank the poison, even when he was whipped, stoned and crucified because of it.  Jesus held the Hope that that would lead others to his Faith.

 

Even if you are not Christian this is relevant and should be celebrated as an act of courage that has rang out through time.  A positive example of how Faith in Hope can change the perceptions of millions.  That is worth more than anything I can think of.  Because the message was one of Love, Tolerance, Acceptance and keeping Faith.  Celebrate it, be inspired by it for that is what He would have wanted.

 

Happy Easter everyone.

2013-06-23 Edges and Courage

 

How does one weigh emotion?  I do not know.  When you have a person threaten your ability to see your daughter in front of her.  Causing her pain and tears.  You know that if you react all you will do is fuel the fire of your attacker and cause the one you hold dearest more pain.  So what do you do?  Do you remind the person that the actions are painful to the child?  I did.  I was also reminded that the person is in Legal control and hinting at using that to reduce my time with her.  When called a liar about how you feel and what you believe to be true in front of her with the person telling her that "I have been holding this in..."  To be told in so many words that my time and efforts are for nothing in front of her.  The person saying that some of the information came from her.  The she says it did not.  The person then says to me as if she was not there that "her story has changed..."  The child clinging to the person crying begging her to stop.  The person not understanding that the child is begging the aggressor to stop attacking the other one she loves.  If I attack back will it make matters worse?  I believe so.  I mention that this was exactly what the courts educational program said not to do.  The person agreed with feral tenacity.  Does seeing this cause me to believe that any further actions will be fruitless?  Yes it does.  All this vehemence because I stated I did not like or respond well to being ordered  to appear.  Perhaps the pervious weekends incident coaled the fire. 

               I wonder if obeying the previous rules then having the person's other come to my car placing it hands in my window, in my face, trying to act the good sportsman who just won a game if there were no hard feelings.  This after my express request and the person's agreement to the rules to prevent conflict.  The other still does this.  So I am polite and honest.  I  am calm and clear in my rejection of this offer and express my feelings toward the other.  No cursing, derogatory or threats of action were used.  Just clear basic common words and a request that the other back away from me.  I have never seen this as a game where "no hard feelings" could be used.  So the others tactless, careless and unthinking action is the impetus, I think so.  Should I have accepted this offer?  No, I do not think so.  I have always held dear the rule of not associating with people who demonstrated lack of character, honor and integrity in my eyes.  In my eyes the person and the other will never be trustworthy or persons whom with I would spend my time again.  Hence the creation of the rules, lack of conflict through lack of contact.  It seemed a prudent course at the time.

               Now I am here.  wondering what to do next.  So, at a loss I asked her what she wanted.  How would she want me to proceed?  She wants an apology from both parties in front of her.  So she can believe and have faith in the person and myself.  I agreed because that trust is more important than  my pride.  I'll be damned if I know how this will turn out.  How much do I sacrifice to demonstrate the greater path?  I guess I know the answer.  I also figure those who truly know me also know my answer,  I will sacrifice everything for her even if I must bleed out all I am and have.  All I can pray for is that one day she will see the person for whom they are and still love them.  That she will see the other in the same light.  That she will then understand me for who I am.  In this, she will learn who she is and what it will take to be herself.